"Oh, the Humanity!"

Today my humanity showed up.  I was fine, and all the sudden I felt overwhelming feelings of panic, frustration, and depression.  It came out of nowhere!  Maybe too much coffee?  (as if) 

I have always been an independent individual.  Self-disciplined.  Self-motivated.  Self-employed.  Could that be the problem?  I will admit, for the last decade I have relied on myself to do most things.  Being your own boss forces your hand to do many tasks that you really would rather not touch, but necessity trumps your preferences.  I find myself doing so many things that I'm not sure if I could sum up in one word what it is I do anymore...let alone one sentence!

Focus.  Balance.  Rhythm.  Contentment.  Gratefulness.  Simplicity...these are my prayers.

I read in a book somewhere (it didn't have pictures) that a man doesn't really reach his productive stride until his 50's...what!  I have like 20 more years of practice and prep?  Encouraging, I suppose.  I feel like I have been floating along for the last 10 years, loving every moment.  I have done so much and been so many places, but I feel like I'm just getting started.  Started for what, though?  Crystal ball, anyone?

If there is one lesson I learned this last year from losing weight is this: CHANGE IS SLOW.  Change, true change, is slow.  Bit by bit.  Step by step.  A friend reminded me of old saying, "How do you eat an elephant?"  answer: One bite at a time.

So on days like today, I just remind myself, it's okay.  Everything is alright.  I'm human and these are emotions.  I take a deep breathe, and meditate on the wonderful things in my life...and maybe blog about it.